Adrienne's Urban

scattered
thoughts from my urban life in new york city.

Returning Once Again

After spending the past five years breaking my back in the education field I find myself looking backwards to my first love: writing.I did not set out in my undergraduate and graduate studies to be a teacher, but yet that was where I found myself. And even though a teacher is often seen as a fall back job, and a job for “those who can’t” I found it to be a tight rope walk all on its own, not just some job for lazy apathetic drones, as many seem to assume.

The economy is better now than it was when I first turned my back on working in the media so I am once again focusing my attentions that way. Words feel different to me, I find that I do not write the way I once did. Perhaps this is because I am no longer the voracious book worm that I once was, video content often fills my head more than the written word and even my own thoughts have changed their structure and lack the certain linguistic flow that they once did.

As someone who has struggled with anxiety and low self esteem to some degree, I often self sabotaged the connections I made and opportunities I had. But now that I am older I feel a greater strength in me to make the path I desired work once again.

Sixties glamour on new ABC show Pan Am

The new ABC show Pan Am is somewhat making up for the fact that Mad Men is on a year long hiatus. There’s no scrumptious Joan to eye ball, but I am in envy of the swishes of black liquid liner and bright eye shadow the flight attendants wear to work. I always apply my eye makeup that very way and then (at least think I am) get a few disapproving second glances at work. I’ll pass on the lack of career opportunities and rights (as well as the obligatory weigh ins the flight attendants submit to on the show, they’d fire me in a heart beat) but I would love for sixties eye makeup to be acceptable nowadays! Screw subtlety, I need noticeable color. I’ll wear professional outfits, but please, let me have my retro eye make up!

Pan Am

This is an adorable video of Kathleen Hanna talking about her friendship with Kurt Cobain, how she gave him the title to Smells Like Teen Spirit, and then her cutely performing the song. (There’s a documentary on her in the works, if funding comes through that is.)

imwithkanye:

Hey Girl (New Girl Theme Song) | Zooey Deschanel

Two reviews in October/November issue of Bust Magazine

It was so nice to open my mailbox this evening and find a new copy of Bust Magazine waiting for me with Mindy Kaling from The Office on the cover. In the magazine I have a review of the book Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism by Natasha Walter and a review of the Peggy Sue album Acrobats, which is the featured review for the issue. It made me smile. (I raved over both items in question, read the book and listen to the album!)

             bust magazine

I got a new job that pays almost twice as much as I make now. And makes me feel like a real adult, rather than a lost girl that sometimes makes money with her words. However, I also realize that switching jobs means at least a month I will have no paycheck, which will mean barely scraping by. Which makes me wonder if I am willing to suffer for a month in order to make more money later on. Is it worth it?

 

The fact that people are associating being girlie with weakness————-that needs to be examined

—Zooey Deschanel, New York Magazine, September 2011Zooey Deschanel, New York Magazine, September 2001

Another reason I hate my last name

One thing I hate about my last name is how often people assume that I am a Polish immigrant actually from Poland and then imbue upon me all these false traits based on this assumption. (I.E. You’re demanding, loud, rude, you complain a lot etc.) Nevermind that I am fifth generation American and am actually half Scandinavian and only one fourth Polish. (The other fourth is a mix of Scottish-Irish and German).

The other annoying thing is that students who are actually from Poland see my last name and assume I am just like them. Which can be bad if the student is a little nutty. One student (who is somewhere in her late fifties I think) keeps cornering me and asking me to translate her papers from Polish to English for her or to write them for her. When I told her I did not know any Polish she became upset and said I was abandoning my heritage. She will announce in front of people that I am so smart and beautiful because I am Polish and Polish women are better than any other women. Today she berated me for not being pregnant or married, telling me her daughter is getting married and I need to do so also. She was being very rude and I tried to convey my annoyance in a polite manner but she was clueless and continued. I wanted to scream, this is not Poland! This is New York City in the United States of America!

She then started saying in her accent, oh maybe you got a little fat, maybe you get rid of fat then you find a husband, no? Then she kept telling me about all the chocolates and presents she is going to buy for me all while I said No no no no no no do not buy me any presents please no. I busied myself with another student and she left. But really, just because my last name is Polish does not mean I am your child.

I wonder if my great great great great grandmother acted this way or if she had that token rudeness so many of the people in Brighton Beach Brooklyn who come from Eastern Europe. I really do wonder what sort of immigrants led to my creation.

Seeing as how I do not look like a Barbie doll, I am not a fan of the fashion industry’s use of anorexically thin models or the values communicated through models and the modeling industry. However, I break into a smile whenever I see an ad featuring the model Crystal Renn. She refuses to buy into the super thin requirement and instead is a healthy looking girl. She even pulled back the curtain on the industry’s too thin standards in her book Hungry. (And unlike other models, she’s over 25.) The fact that she is one of the most widely known models with contracts with Chanel, Lord and Taylor and others can only be a sign that our culture is moving in the right direction. She’s lost some weight and may or may not still be in the realm of plus size, but regardless, she is far more healthy looking than the other stick thin drones on runways and magazine pages. (And she has an actual personality!)

Seeing as how I do not look like a Barbie doll, I am not a fan of the fashion industry’s use of anorexically thin models or the values communicated through models and the modeling industry. However, I break into a smile whenever I see an ad featuring the model Crystal Renn. She refuses to buy into the super thin requirement and instead is a healthy looking girl. She even pulled back the curtain on the industry’s too thin standards in her book Hungry. (And unlike other models, she’s over 25.) The fact that she is one of the most widely known models with contracts with Chanel, Lord and Taylor and others can only be a sign that our culture is moving in the right direction. She’s lost some weight and may or may not still be in the realm of plus size, but regardless, she is far more healthy looking than the other stick thin drones on runways and magazine pages. (And she has an actual personality!)